A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
