dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
