my shit smells like andre
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
