His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
His family, without saying anything, started a game of quarters the moment the drinks arrived. I love them. If only I didn't hate him so much.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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