this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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