My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
