your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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