does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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