Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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