Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
