This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
You go to school with some of the ugliest girls I've ever seen... How are you not getting laid?
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
