Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Everyone in the office is in total denial. I asked my boss what he did this weekend and he said "nothing much." But I know we were both thinking about the orgy.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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