'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
