i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
These tits shall not be calmed
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