So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I don't get hangovers. Except once. And there is a massively epic story behind that, involving so much alcohol I should have died, and 13 raw hotdogs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
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