it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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