Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I just saw a hot homeless man
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
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