Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
I'm eating all of the evidence.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
New swimming pool is best sex toy ever. We are pioneering the doggie-style paddle.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
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