Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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