no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
