i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
