if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
