Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Stole my 7th stop sign and 3rd speed limit sign last night. Not even sure how because they were bolted to a cement wall. Tequila gives you strength you didn't know you had.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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