If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
Sorry about my life...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
Randomize
