I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
