Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
We were apparently using marine hand signals to communicate to one another where to meet up in the house to hook up.
Didn't even know I knew marine hand signals.
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
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