don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Just ate a whole pizza by myself. Wearing my indian headdress again. its really cool with the french braids. I look like fucking pocahontas or some shit.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
You don't have a wife, you don't have a dog, and you need a new bong. Don't make this any worse than that.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
Randomize