well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
