Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Remember that time a drunk Dracula took a shit in the urinal? Ooh, that's right, it was last night.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize
