Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
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