i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
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