I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Ketchup is God's man juice
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
