For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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