come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
