Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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