How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
Randomize
