I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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