Since when is my name a synonym for head?
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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