I hate all girls vehemently.
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
