Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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