and next time when you feel me up, do it right
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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