Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
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