Sponge bath it is.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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