Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
Randomize
