im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
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