RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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