so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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