you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Sorry about my life...
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
