so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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