I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Well you busted in the house and yelled with pride about Uber giving you a ride over with your new bong.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
