I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Randomize
