he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
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