Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
