I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
operation have a gay friend backfired
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Randomize
