At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
my "about me" section on Facebook should read "hell-bound alcoholic who wants to fuck a 40-year-old crackhead"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Randomize
