Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
