I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
Randomize
