I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
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