I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
Randomize
