Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
He just said he wasn't going to drink on Saturday because he was drinking on Thursday and Friday...we need new friends.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Randomize
