Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Hey, I'm making progress. I haven't thrown up in a bar while wearing a sweater vest in almost two months.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
