please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
Randomize
