Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
I have post one night stand depression
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
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