hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
